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Femei, oameni si tigani

Scris de Alex Sima | 16, 10, 2008

***** Zi obisnuita la Unirii. O sa folosesc cuvantul tigani in cele ce urmeaza. Pentru ca asta sunt oamenii respectivi, nu pentru ca sunt rasist. Si pentru ca, asa cum spunea Tudor Gheorghe, ei insisi isi spun in felul asta, plus ca romul e o bautura si clar suna mai bine tigan. Nu am apucaturi din astea ciudate (desi as avea toate motivele) si nici ura de rasa, cu atat mai mult dupa ce am vazut zilele trecute Lista lui Schindler. Realizez ca nu trebuie sa ii bagi pe toti membrii unui grup intr-o oala mare si sa-i amesteci cu sos picant, chiar daca majoritatea poarta etichete de ingrediente. Asadar, acestea fiind lamurite, sa purcedem.

***** Ma dau jos din 32, aglomeratie mare, ma grabesc pe cat pot sa ajung la dentist. Ajunsi in acest punct, simt deja ca v-am trezit simpatia. Traversez si imi dau seama instantaneu, din cauza viermuielii din fata, ca iar au iesit tiganii cu produsele pe taraba. Nu ma hazardez sa fac presupuneri cu privire la provenienta hainelor si parfumurilor “originale”, nici n-o sa zabovesc asupra termenelor de expirare.

***** Si nici n-ar fi cine stie ce insemnare, daca n-as fi prins exact momentul esential din aceasta operatiune. Un nene, netigan, exact in fata mea, la un metru, umbla de la taraba, la taraba, intreband prea-cinstitele fete negustoresti daca au strans banii pentru politie. Din nou, nu o sa ma hazardez sa ghicesc daca erau banii pentru amenda sau pentru mita, dar tare as vrea sa aflu de ce pe un culoar care e si asa ingust, se permite parcarea masinilor si amplasarea a zeci de tarabe din spatele carora te privesc indivizi ce nu s-ar simti stingheriti in OZ.

***** Dar cum spune o vorba, “prost nu e cel care cere, ci cel care da”. Proaste sunt mamele voastre, surorile voastre, fiicele voastre, amantele voastre, bunicele voastre. Da, voi, babe afurisite, daca se intampla sa citeasca vreuna acest text. Si da, probabil ca propria mea mama, daca ar avea ocazia, ar face si ea parte din masa de femei credule si puse pe cautari de chilipiruri. Umpland in acest fel buzunarele celor care va dau in cap noaptea pe strada, care va fura ziua portofelele in mijloacele de transport, celor care asculta manele la maxim 24 din 24, celor care va violeaza femeile si va baga in spital barbatii.

***** Daca la fiecare taraba in fata n-as vedea cel putin 5 babe, 2 femei la 35 de ani, si o tanara speranta a neamului feminin, inca fara buletin, i-as injura in gand doar pe tiganii care au blocat circulatia cu mizerii cand mie-mi arde maseaua. Dar asa, pentru fiecare vanzator, sunt minim 5 doamne care se trag, se imping, se injura, totul pentru a-si lua ultimele tinute toamna-iarna, la numai 100 de mii (lei vechi) perechea.

***** Ca sa fiu mai diplomat, in caz ca nu m-am facut inteles pana acum: Mai tutelor, daca voi nu le faceti vanzare, or sa plece singuri, fara sa fie nevoie de altceva. Adica de politie.

***** Cu ocazia asta, mi-aduc aminte de 2… (era sa zic falnici,… dar mai potrivit e vagi) aparatori ai legii si ordinii, in fata la Autogara Militari. Tocmai certasera un nene cu parfumuri. Nu l-au tras de urech, nici na-na nu i-au dat. Amenda, ce gluma buna. Doar ii atrageau atentia sa plece. Individul, deja trecut prin astfel de intamplari, a scos din el intreaga filosofie din spatele acestor afaceri:

Hai, luati si voi doua parfumuri. Fiti oameni.

***** In fond, toti suntem oameni, nu?

PS: Fetelor/femeilor pe care le cunosc: Daca va prind, cand imbatraniti, sa nu zic “atunci cand ajungeti hoaste”, ca va opriti ca la urs si faceti vanzare astora, nu mai vorbesc cu voi si nici la inmormantarea voastra nu vin. Am zis.

renne

Subiecte: Amintiri, Execrabil, Ganduri, La furat, Personal | 15 Comentarii »

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