Ultimele articole

Comentarii recente

Categorii Google

Categorii

Validari


« | Pagina principala | »

Credinta la romani, ca un carnat stricat

Scris de Alex Sima | 27, 10, 2008

***** Pe la 4 ani am citit o Biblie veche, de doua ori mai groasa decat DEXul. Cred ca a fost, daca nu prima carte citita, cu siguranta printre primele cinci. Am fost ani de-a randul cel mai mare aparator in discutiile cu tenta religioasa care se puteau purta intre copii. Nu concepeam negarea unui lucru ce mi se parea de la sine inteles si ii vedeam pe toti blasfemiatorii arzand in cele mai mari si dureroase flacari ale iadului. Apoi am invatat ca exista fictiune.

***** Nu vreau sa ma lungesc (cum fac de obicei) si sa filozofez daca exista sau nu Dumnezeu, pentru ca acum am pornit la drum cu alt scop. Si anume, sa analizez modul in care stiu romanii sa-si manifeste credinta.

***** Niciodata n-am avut o mai clara imagine a unui carnat stricat ca azi, cand am trecut pe langa miile de oameni care stateau la coada in jurul Patriarhiei. Si daca n-ati vazut niciodata cum se face un carnat, ar cam fi vremea. Din loc in loc, sirul de “credinciosi” era strangulat, ca sa aiba cu adevarat forma specifica si sa nu semene cu un salam. Iar atmosfera era completata de mirosul de canal dat afara de cele maxim 20 de toalete ecologice umplute pana la refuz.

***** Am trecut pe langa ele prima oara la ora 14:00 si puteau oaresce suportabil, doar a pipi, care se si stransese de altfel in balti in fata lor. Cand am trecut a doua oara, pe la 18:00, deja adusesera masini speciale ca sa le spele prin metoda stingerii de incendii. Adica se ia un furtun, se conecteaza la o sursa de apa, si se stropeste cutia de plastic. Etapele sunt simple. Cacatul e aruncat in urma impactului prin diverse cotloane. Apoi se imprastie prin toata toaleta, agatandu-se disperat de pereti, incercand sa reziste eroic. Pana la urma, renunta si impreuna cu fratele sau mai mic si lichid, se scurge pe trotuar. Fecalele mai norocoase sunt aruncate de presiunea apei pe trecatorii care nu au unde sa se fereasca decat in fata masinilor.

***** Pentru ca da, coada imensa se intindea pe un trotuar al strazii, de la Unirii si pana la Primaria Sectorului 4. Se putea circula pe jos doar pe un trotuar, cel cu budele. Coada de oameni era despartita pe alocuri, ca in locul unde se rasuceste carnatul, de organele de ordine. Coada de masini si tramvaie in schimb, se misca in ritmul unui melc, dar cu alura supla a unei rame extraordinar de lungi, fiind dubla ca intindere.

***** Ca sa facem o pauza de la limbajul dur, vom face acum un salt in timp, pana vineri, acum 3 zile. Incarcat cu zece mii de plase si rucsac, intentionam sa iau un taxi de la Unirii pana in Rahova. Drum relativ scurt, tarif normal, undeva intre 75.000 si 100.000 drumul. De obicei, rechinii stau langa autogari si gara, pe unde pot agata fraieri (a se citi turisti si alti vizitatori ai orasului) care habar n-au cat e tariful normal si mai putin langa statia de plecare a 32ului catre Rahova, Ferentari, etc. Ati prins ideea. De data asta vad cu mirare cel putin 10 taxiuri in plus fata de cate sunt de obicei, 80% dintre ele trecand bine de 35.000 lei/ kilometru. Cand, in mod normal, e undeva intre 15.000 si 20.000. Asta in caz ca nu sunteti de-ai casei. Sa tineti minte pe viitor si sa va si uitati pe usi cand va urcati.

***** Gasim o masina normala (credeam) si cand sa urcam in taxi, zice nenea soferu:
– Da’ unde mergeti?
– In Rahova?
– 200.000
– ? ? Poftim ? ?
– Pai nu vezi ce aglomeratie? Ca nu mai dau drumul la ceas ca daca ii dau drumul iti iau 400.000.
***** Ma uit vizavi, o coada incipienta de credinciosi, dinspre care se auzeau zgomote ciudate de muzica lautareasca data pe speaker la mobil. In jur, zeci de corturi unde se comercializau cruciulite, icoane, lumanari, si probabil oase de sfinti la negru. Pfa, imi zic, iar e vreun sfant, iar au scos moase la pupat. Drumul insa, liber ca-n palma.

***** Ne hotaram sa il injuram crestineste in gand pe dobitoc si sa luam totusi 32ul, de teama comiterii unui pacat capital prin lapidarea unui alt sofer de taxi care sa incerce sa ne prosteasca. Cu putin noroc, nenea care conducea masina cu indicativul 118 si numarul B77FHI, apartinand firmei Real, va fi dat afara. Dar asta e alta poveste.

***** Stiam asadar de vineri ca e rost de niscai stat in casa si ocolit Unirii, dar nu mi-am dat seama de magnitudine pana azi, cand am fost nevoit sa trec prin zona. I-as putea spune zona rau-famata daca nu as lua in calcul 30% dintre persoanele care faceau parte din carnat. Si care vor muri in curand de batranete. Ei saracii, se miscau ca-n filmele cu prosti, cate 10 metri, carand sacose si scaunele, la semnalul jandarmilor.

***** In schimb, nu stiu de ce, dar am impresia ca de fiecare data cand se incearca trezirea spiritualitatii la romani, se esueaza lamentabil si se reuseste in schimb crearea unui magnet pentru scursurile societatii. Toti hotii, toti escrocii, toti cersetorii, toti… ce mai, toti oamenii care nu isi merita acest statut, se urca frumusel in trenuri, autobuze si autocare, din toate colturile tarii, si se aduna ca la o intrunire anuala cu punct terminus centrul Bucurestiului. Imi si imaginez un aurolac din Cluj, dand un mail fartatului din Timisoara:

Subiect: Pomana

Frate, mi-am verificat agenda si in weekend e Sfantul Dumitru. Aduc astia la Bucuresti super oferta. 4 sfinti la 10 mii de oameni. Se scot la pupat moastele Sfantului Apostol Pavel, alaturi de moastele Sfantului Cuvios Dimitrie cel Nou si ale Sfintilor Imparati Constantin si Elena. Odhneasca-se in pace. Te trec pe lista? Ca ne opreste un prieten loc in fata.

***** Asadar, pentru romani locul in Rai e asigurat de pupatul de morti dupa ce, in prealabil, au savarsit intru curatirea trupeasca un adevarat circ de 5 zile.  Toti netotii care nu sunt in stare sa-si aiba grija de propria viata se asteapta ca cersind (de la Dumnezeu sau de la altii) sa aiba o existenta lipsita de griji. Iar cand ajung in sfarsit in fata, “le ia Dumnezeu mintile” si se ingramadesc de parca ar prinde ultimele locuri intr-un buncar anti-atomic dupa ce Basescu l-a scuipat in fata pe Bush. Maini, picioare, eventual si gaturi sucite si rupte. N-ar fi de mirare daca se iau si la bataie pentru o aghiazma, despre care am auzit ca nu prea ar avea gust de apa sfintita de la doua enoriase matusalemice ce dezbateau problema in tramvai. Din pacate, credinta de gen Becali s-a inflitrat adanc in sufletele romanilor. Putini observa, si mai putini iau atitudine. Majoritatea da in schimb bombe. Auzi la ei, comert interzis. Sa te strici de ras, mai ceva decat carnatul.

***** Hai, ca mai am de zis multe, dar imi racesc gura de “pomana” si mai bine ma duc sa pun “o lumanare” si sa “platesc la preot” pentru “toti dusmanii mei”. Indignarea s-a transformat in lehamite si nu pot decat sa astept sa ajunga si in Romania chestia aia numita Renastere. Amin.

renne

Subiecte: Amintiri, Execrabil, La cersit, La furat, Peripetii, Personal | 44 Comentarii »

44 Raspunsuri la “Credinta la romani, ca un carnat stricat”

  1. cf. Olga Todiroae (Timisesti) Says:
    29, 10, 2008 la 12:11 am

    fw: “Rugaciunea mea din Timisesti la Bunul DUMNEZEU si la Sfintele Moaste ale Sfintilor Dimitrie, Pavel, Constantin si Elena de la Patriarhie ….”

    “In numele Tatalui si al Fiului
    si al Sfantului Duh, Amin.
    Slava Tie, Dumnezeul nostru,
    slava Tie !

    In aceste zile binecuvantate pentru Romania
    cinstesc si ma inchin de mai multe ori
    1) tot la Bunul DUMNEZEU,
    2) la Sfintelor Moaste ale Sfantului Apostol Pavel,
    3) la Sfintelor Moaste ale Sfantului Cuvios Dimitrie cel Nou (Basarabov) – ocrotitorul Bucureştilor
    si
    4) la Sfintelor Moaşte ale Sfintilor Imparati Constantin si Elena.

    Multumesc tot lui DUMNEZEU si la Sfintelor Moaste
    pentru tot ce ne-au dat si mie si familiei fiului meu.

    Ma rog tot lui DUMNEZEU si la Sfintelor Moaste
    1) sa ne ajute si pe mine, pe nora mea, pe nepotica mea si pe fiul meu,
    2) sa o lumineze pe nepotica mea si sa raspunda fara emotii,
    3) sa ne daruiasca noua sanatate si
    viata ferita de toata rautatea vrajmasilor nostri stiuti si nestiuti
    de la SRI Timisesti, de la SRI Piatra-Neamt, de la PSD Timisesti,
    de la ex-Securitatea Timisesti, de la ex-Militia Timisesti,
    de la Politia Timisesti, de la Politia Targu Neamt etc,
    4) sa ne izbaveasca pe noi in toata viata noastra de vrajmasii nostri teroristi de la SRI s.a.m.d,
    5) sa biruiasca permanent toate puterile vrajmasilor nostri de la SRI s.a.,
    6) sa scoata toate persecutiile, toate ilegalitatile, toate hotiile, toate abuzurile
    savarsite de vrajmasii nostri de la SRI & co.

    Doamne si Sfinte Moaste ajutati si Satul meu Timisesti, Judetul Neamt.”

  2. Zoom Says:
    29, 10, 2008 la 2:39 am

    Romanul e un om plin de pizma:
    – Manelistii au dusmani;
    – Non-manelistii au vrajmasi…

  3. lawyer turkiye citizenship by investment Says:
    23, 11, 2022 la 9:42 am

    The world funding migration market may grow right into
    a $100 billion trade by 2025.

  4. Coins Coke Says:
    25, 02, 2023 la 2:10 am

    Bitcoin is a digital currency that operates on a decentralized network and uses public-key cryptography to send transactions over the Bitcoin blockchain without the need for a central authority.

  5. Market Fiyatlari Says:
    12, 03, 2023 la 6:47 pm

    Market Fiyatlarini mi ogrenmek istiyorsunuz? Hemen tiklayin ve market fiyatlari hakkinda tum detaylari ogrenin. Daha fazlasi icin marketfiyatlari.com

  6. payday loans bc Says:
    19, 03, 2023 la 1:59 am

    Borrowers that are considering a cash advance should be alert to
    the potential effect on their credit history and financial well-being, and may only borrow what
    they can afford to pay back. payday loans bc loans may
    be more expensive for borrowers who have a history of
    bankruptcy or other financial difficulties.

  7. payday loans toronto Says:
    25, 03, 2023 la 3:19 am

    Some payday loans toronto lenders may require borrowers
    to supply a copy of these insurance policy and other proof of coverage in order to approve the credit.

    Borrowers that are considering a payday advance should be alert to the potential consequences of default, including law suit and wage
    garnishment.

  8. Siyasi Gorus Says:
    26, 03, 2023 la 3:54 pm

    Siyasi Gorus ile sende Turkiye siyaseti ve gundemine hemen hakim ol. Hemen tıkla ve haberleri takip et!

  9. e-transfer payday loans canada 24/7 Says:
    27, 03, 2023 la 4:57 am

    The level of the loan is normally based around
    the borrower’s income and power to repay the borrowed funds.

    Borrowers who’re considering a e-transfer payday loans canada 24/7 advance should carefully review
    the stipulations of the borrowed funds, including any charges for late
    or missed payments.

  10. binance challenge Says:
    09, 04, 2023 la 7:22 pm

    Your article helped me a lot, is there any more related content? Thanks!

  11. odpri racun na binance Says:
    28, 06, 2023 la 7:12 am

    Thank you for your sharing. I am worried that I lack creative ideas. It is your article that makes me full of hope. Thank you. But, I have a question, can you help me? https://accounts.binance.com/sl/register-person?ref=V3MG69RO

  12. измир Says:
    28, 08, 2023 la 10:43 pm

    Путешествия – это уникальная возможность погрузиться в мир неизведанного, расширить свои горизонты и обогатиться непередаваемыми впечатлениями.
    От многовековых паломничеств
    до современных экзотических
    экскурсий, путешествия оказывают влияние не
    только на наше восприятие мира, но и
    на нашу душу.

    Каждое путешествие – это источник новых знаний и опыта.

    Встречи с разными культурами,
    обычаями и языками расширяют нашу способность понимания и терпимости.
    Мы начинаем видеть мир под другим углом, осознавать красоту многообразия и узнавать о себе неведомые черты.

    Путешествия также способствуют личностному росту.
    Выходя из зоны комфорта,
    мы сталкиваемся с новыми вызовами, учимся
    решать проблемы самостоятельно, адаптироваться
    к непредсказуемым обстоятельствам.
    Эти навыки пригодятся не только в путешествиях, но и в повседневной жизни.
    Один из ведущих ресурсов, где вы можете найти полезную информацию о
    путешествиях, – это https://krismart.ru

    Каждое путешествие – это история.
    История о местах, которые мы посетили, о
    людях, которых встретили,
    об эмоциях, которые испытали.
    Эти истории остаются с нами навсегда, они
    вдохновляют, учат и напоминают
    нам о том, что мир огромен и удивителен.

    Если вы мечтаете о новых приключениях
    и открытиях, путешествия – идеальный способ
    осуществить свои мечты. Независимо от того, отправляетесь ли вы в дальние страны или исследуете окрестности, каждая поездка приносит свой неповторимый опыт.

    Путешествия – это не только физическое перемещение,
    но и увлекательное путешествие внутрь
    себя. Они позволяют нам найти новые грани своей личности, открыть для себя скрытые страсти
    и интересы. Они делают нашу жизнь
    насыщенной и увлекательной,
    наполняют ее смыслом и радостью от каждого нового дня.

  13. private mortgage rates Says:
    20, 12, 2023 la 7:06 pm

    Mortgage Discharge Ban Prepayments specify if advance repayments permitted during terms
    without penalties encouraging contract certainty.
    private mortgage rates Refinancing Associate Cost Considerations weigh math comparing reductions against posted general guideline 0.five percent variance calculating worth break fees.

  14. best private mortgage lenders in BC Says:
    22, 12, 2023 la 11:04 pm

    Microlender mortgages are high rate of interest,
    short term installment loans using property as collateral,
    created for those with poor credit. No Income Verification Mortgages include
    higher rates in the increased risk from limited income verification. Mortgage loan insurance through CMHC
    or best private mortgage lenders in BC insurers is required for high-ratio mortgages
    to transfer risk from taxpayers.

  15. Mortgage Broker In Vancouver Bc Says:
    25, 12, 2023 la 4:45 am

    Mortgage Broker In Vancouver Bc loan insurance through CMHC or private insurers
    is mandatory for high-ratio mortgages to transfer risk from taxpayers.

    The First Home Savings Account allows first-time buyers to save around $40,
    000 tax-free for any purchase. Second Mortgages let homeowners access
    equity without refinancing the original home loan. Renewing too much in advance of maturity brings about early discharge penalties and forfeited savings.

  16. Fastest E Transfer Payday Loans In Canada 24/7 With No Documents Says:
    27, 12, 2023 la 8:59 am

    When borrowing emergencies occur unexpectedly, responsible Canadian online payday lenders offer urgent access to funds with simplified applications and
    instant approvals. Direct lenders provide access to emergency pay day loan funds helping responsible
    borrowers handle unexpected bills and get by until their next
    payday. As urban densification accelerates, proptech brokers ease the home-buying journey for newcomers
    and downsizing empty nesters through seamless digital mortgage platforms.

  17. Payday Loans With Instant Approval Says:
    27, 12, 2023 la 11:23 pm

    Reliable Canadian online payday lenders understand pressing utility bills
    or rent payments cannot wait, ensuring qualified borrowers immediate access to emergency loan approvals.
    High approval online lenders understand pressing bills sometimes arise unexpectedly and concentrate on quickly getting Canadians entry to borrowed
    funds. Even with poor credit, simplified application and instant approval processes help deliver emergency payday loans faster from direct online lenders.

  18. Check Credit Score Canada Says:
    29, 12, 2023 la 12:24 pm

    Penalties for breaking a phrase before maturity depend around the
    remaining length and therefore are based with a formula set by the financial
    institution. The OSFI mortgage stress test ensures house buyers are tested on the ability to pay for
    at higher rates of interest. Online calculators allow buyers to estimate
    payments, amortization periods and expenses for different
    mortgage options.

    Visit my page … Check Credit Score Canada

  19. how much mortgage can i get with $70000 salary canada Says:
    06, 01, 2024 la 9:09 am

    Online how much mortgage can i get with $70000 salary canada calculators allow buyers to estimate costs for
    various rate, term and amortization options.
    The maximum amortization period has declined from forty
    years prior to 2008 to 25 years or so now. The First Time Home Buyer Incentive is an equity
    sharing program targeted at improving affordability.

  20. Commercial Mortgage Brokers Vancouver Says:
    12, 01, 2024 la 12:31 pm

    Mortgage interest expense is mostly not tax deductible for primary
    residences in Canada. Commercial Mortgage Brokers Vancouver Qualifying Guidelines govern federal and provincial risk management policy balancing market stability
    buying socioeconomic objectives bank financial health.

Comentarii

căutare personalizată