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O sa iubesc mereu, functionara de ghiseu

Scris de Alex Sima | 23, 01, 2009

***** De mult n-am mai avut o zi care sa ma bine-dispuna prin lucrurile stupide care mi s-au intamplat. Si cum uneori aleg sa fac haz de necaz, acum m-am distrat copios, razand de mine insumi, bineinteles. Asadar, sa va povestesc peripetiile mele in incercarile disperate de a da bani.

***** 1. Sediu BRD, coada de doua persoane. Ajung in fata dupa 5 minute si voios nevoie mare ca a mers repede, ma avant:

– Buna ziua, am de platit o factura.
– Dati-mi sa vad. […] Mda.. La mine o puteti plati. (Intre timp tasteaza nu stiu ce.) Unde a fost emisa… mhm, inteleg. Sa stiti ca trebuie sa platiti un comision de 0,7%.
– Bine, nici o problema. De ce altceva mai e nevoie?
– N-ati mai platit niciodata la noi?
– Nu.
– Nu mai trebuie nimic. Acum va fac socoteala sa vad cat aveti comisionul. Sa stiti ca trebuie sa le platiti separat (tac tac tac pe calculatorul manual de parca o manca calculatorul computerului. Astept 2 minute in timp ce a reluat calculul de nenumarate ori).
***** Zambeste rusinos:
– Stiti, era apasat butonul si imi ieseau mai multe numere si nu mi-am dat seama.
– Nici o problema. Uitati banii si comisionul.
– Si copia de buletin?
– Ce copie de buletin?
– Va trebuie o copie de buletin care sa ramana la dosar.
– Buletinul in sine nu e bun?
– Nu.
– Ma intorc in 15 minute.
***** Noroc ca am scanner si ca stau aproape. Altfel, in loc sa fiu amuzat, cred ca faceam apoplexie. Fac copia, ma intorc, i-o dau, o stampileaza de doua ori, o semneaza, ma pune sa semnez si eu 4 hartii. Si gataaa, intrebandu-ma de ce naiba au nevoie de copia de buletin, reiau traseul catre:

***** 2. Sediu CZone. Coada de douazeci de persoane. Stau insirati oamenii pana la poarta din afara cladirii. De obicei, cand vad privelisti din astea, plec direct si revin in alta zi. Acum, nu stiu de ce am simtit nevoia sa stau sa vad ce se intampla si sa aflu de ce e puhoi de lume care asteapta.
***** Aud doi insi aflati mai aproape de intrare:
– Ce fac ma astia acolo, ca n-a mai iesit nimeni de 20 de minute.

***** Pe usa, trona mare programul, fara vreo pauza vizibila. Dupa inca un sfert de ora, in spatele meu mai venisera zece persoane si intrasera vreo trei. Ritm bun, progres masurabil, pentru ca am inaintat un metru. Intre timp, imi faceam in minte diferite scenarii. Li s-a stricat calculatorul, e o singura tipa la ghisee si e nou angajata, s-a luat curentul. Intre timp, vad una din ghiseistele gheisiste dand buzna afara, si apoi in curtea din spate, strigand pe un oarecare individ. Adaug o noua varianta. Nici o tipa la ghiseu.

***** Dupa inca o ora de stat (timp in care s-a lungit coada de nu mai aveau loc in curte, timp in care am stat sa ma intreb si de ce jumatate din cei prezenti aveau copii sub 10 ani cu ei, timp in care am trecut de la curiozitate la lehamite si imi venea sa ma inec la mal si sa plec acasa, timp in care ma intrebam de ce toata lumea vrea sa plateasca acum, in ziua asta, ce are ea atat de iesit din comun, mai ales ca eu venisem sa platesc in avans), mi-a venit randul.

***** Nu sa platesc, stati linistiti. Ci sa “intru inauntru”. Ghiseista care zburatacise mai devreme urland, statea linistita de vorba cu individul. Macar o parte a previziunilor mele era demna de Nostradamus. Dar asta nu era tot, pentru ca infuleca hamesita dintr-o chestie care semana cu un hamburger mort de doua zile. Drept urmare, un singur ghiseu era functional.

***** Ma manca limba sa-i zic cateva, dar m-am pus in locul ei si mi-am dat seama ca si mie daca mi-ar fi asa foame incat sa-mi atarne varza din coltul gurii, i-as da naibii de clienti, chiar daca sunt destui sa ma linseze.

***** La modul serios, de ce nu cer fetele astea o ora libera, pauza de masa, dar sa fie si afisata sa stie omul sa nu astepte ca vita in fata portii?

***** PS: Dupa ce am ajuns acasa, mi-a picat netul. Nu cel proaspat platit. Ci cel platit din decembrie pana in februarie. Altfel faceam scandal.

renne

Subiecte: Amintiri, Execrabil, Firme, Ganduri, Peripetii, Personal | 16,216 Comentarii »

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